I held off writing about this for a while because of the magnitude of it all. I’ve just been processing everything slowly as it all unfolds. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around both the immediate halt that the entire world has come to as well as the unthinkable sacrifices that doctors, nurses and other essential workers are making for us daily.
When I left Chapel Hill for spring break, I was looking forward to coming back for the rest of my final semester at Carolina. I still had my last sorority formal, my last dance show and my last few weeks of being an undergrad at the southern part of Heaven. My friends and I were going to take graduation photos and walk in Kenan Stadium on May 10 as new graduates. I was so excited to finish out the Carolina Hurricanes’ hockey season as an intern and work more games for Carolina Athletics. I am incredibly upset that those things have all been cancelled, there’s no way around it. It’s not fair.
But that’s life. I know that I am incredibly lucky to be healthy and blessed with people and places in my life that I miss. I know that this virus has been incredibly cruel to people around the world in heartbreaking ways. In the weeks since I’ve been home, I’ve been thinking about those people a lot.
Though it would be really easy to mope about all of this, I’ve been trying really hard to seek out the good news in the world in an effort to remain positive. One of my favorite ways to do that right now is watching John Krasinki’s weekly show, Some Good News (I highly recommend it!) Also, I’ve been trying to come up with fun ways to stay busy at home (after I’ve finished my school work, of course). I finally have time to read books for fun (what a concept), paint and draw, play board games and do puzzles. I’ve been able to spend quality time with my mom, dad, and dog, and catch up with friends and family via FaceTime or Zoom.
There’s no sugarcoating it, this is a weird, devastating time. And as someone who struggles with mental health, namely anxiety, this is really a challenge. But I’m doing my best, I’m trying to use this time to turn to God more than ever. I know everyone is doing their best to make it through this.
And when it’s all over? Just think about the joy! Think about the reunions and smiles. The hugs (I miss them so much) and excitement that will come with doing the things we miss right now. We will never take any of the small things for granted again, and maybe that’s a small silver lining of all of this. May we learn from this to relish in every moment, unsure of what the next day will bring.
In the meantime, let’s all keep staying inside. Maybe I’ll use this time to update my blog a little more frequently! We’ll get through this. ♥
Cara Siliakus 